All Growd Up

Well I'm all growd up now, being asponsible. No more fun! Playing is for babies. And kitties. And baby kitties. Tasty baby kitties. Now, when I'm at the place where all my friends live, I do big dog asponsible stuff like training. My mean mom says catch is something we "play." She says, Hey, you wanna go play catch? Then I jump up and down, and bonk my head on the glass coffee table and then forget right away because it doesn't hurt! But not cause I agree. She's affused, and that's okay. How could she know how aportant it is? How could she know that catch is training to be a super killer? When she throws the ball, my eyes forget where I am and I fold my ears back so they don't get in the way of all that air going past me as I shoot across the field like... like a bigger, faster, really asponsible ball.

My Crate

Man I love my crate. So, besides from that, sometimes I pee in it. I'm not sure if my moms are in trouble, or if maybe just I am, but sometimes I pee in my crate and sometimes I don't, and I don't know how to predict it. I think my moms are mad at me. Especially my mean mom.

Swimming

I heard that my friend Henry maybe broke into a pool and swam in it and Fran was mad. I like Henry. In fact, sometimes after we've been playing really hard I try to make love to him by moving my little hips back and forth like boy dogs. But I don't understand why come he likes to swim. If I was Henry I'd stay out of that water and probably play fetch. I'd play fetch for days and days! And when the ball was just a soggy knot of threads, I'd roll it toward the horizon and wait for the sun to suck it up into its big fiery maw and then sink into the faraway sea.

New York City

Well, I'm a city dog now. There are lots of stairs! Mostly I stay home with my mean mom. Sometimes I think about all the grass I want to run in, and the squirrels I want to ate. My moms got me a squirrel, and I ate it, but it wasn't the same. No grass, maybe? I can't figure it out. On the bright side, there are mice living in the walls! It makes my hair go funny.

I hope I'll get to go to the place where all my friends live today.

Frog

Have you ever thrown up something that you don't remember ating? I haven't. Especially not a frog I found in the back yard. It came out whole!

Maine

Whew! It's been a long time since I had a chance to post, and that's because I've been playing an awful lot. I went to Maine to see my friend Annie, and I spent a lot of time licking her mouth. I don't know why. We ran! And she would pin me to the ground! And sometimes I sat in a trailer that smelled like fish. Hmmm. There's so much going on these days, I feel like I'm growing up too fast. I remember about the old times, when I lived in a pile of clothes. Now I have a leather collar, and it's always do this, do that--so much asponsibilities! Sometimes my mean mom goes "Hhhhhhhh, Hhhhhhhh," and I give her a nibble on the cheek. She's so silly. She has hair on her face.

Skunks

I tried to ate a skunk yesterday. It wasn't even big. It was the smallest skunk I ever saw. And slow! Man, I can't believe how slow it was. I ran to ate it, but then all of a sudden my nose went blind and my eyes hurt. I ran in circles, but that didn't help. Then my moms gave me a bath on the front porch. Even nice mom. It was confusing, a little, and my nose was blind for a day. The world is smaller when your nose is blind. It's smaller than a skunk.